A Packet of Ashes

Today marks the first day of the Christian season of Lent. My view of this has changed over the years.

When I was a young child growing up in a Catholic home, it meant Fish every Friday and being sure you didn't eat meat on certain days. It meant teachers reminding us to designate something we would give up for Lent. Usually it was things like Chocolate or sweets or something like that. Having so little, poor as our family was there was little for me to give up.

This morning, for the first time in many, many years, I went to a Catholic Mass. I had built a cross for a Monistary and School here in town, and I was invited to be present for its' first use.

Most of the Mass was in Spanish, which was very cool since I kind of miss the Latin Mass. I only heard it a few time in my youth, but it was very cool. I sing as part of a Unitarian Choir, and once in a while we sing in Latin which I do love. There is something very noble about Latin.

There was the usual readings for Ash Wednesday with a passage about how we are all dust and to dust we return when we are dead. (Yes, I had the Kansas song, "Dust in the Wind" in my brain.)

During the Sermon, the Priest made mention of the Muslum faith and how they fast from sun up to sun down for a period - he asked how many would want to do that as a show of their faith. He mentioned the way Buddhist monks fast daily, eating only once per day, and only that which is given to them.

These two things were very cool for me to hear since I am have relatives and friends who are Muslum and I am a Buddhist practictioner and occasional meditation teacher.

On the way home I heard a gent on a interview show saying that the current proposed budget from President Bush will - and other sources have said this as well - cut funding for programs that help the poor and disadvantaged, while it retains the tax cuts which the President admits are a direct benefit for the upper class. That this action was not very Christian of him.

I agree. Lent, the Priest at Mass said, is in part about charity, giving to the poor.

Seems Mr. Bush missed Mass.

Part of my reason for wanting to go this morning was because of some healing I needed to do with my view of Catholicism. I hear people often say they are a recovering Catholic, yet, they are not working to heal themselves or recover from the pain that the church inflicted on them. They are running away from it. It is, in my view, much like the alcholic who is not trying to stop drinking, yet proclaims they are a recovering alcholic. (I understand that slips happen, that's just the thing with booze.. cunning, baffeling and powerful!) For myself, if I am going to profess myself as a Recovering Catholic, I need to be doing some healing work.

Building the cross was part of that. I really didn't expect it to be, but it was. See, my mother would often time tell me that when I didn't do something I should be doing, or she told me to do, or I was not able to do such as compex math, that I was "helping build the cross for Jesus." Or I was "nailing Jesus to the cross. "It was, as a Methodist Minister put it to me once, Faith abuse.

Building this symbol that guides some good people to do good works for others helped me to see mylife as not one where I was doing harm to others, but that I can live my life and in small ways do good for others, even if it is not my way to find goodness.

When I left the church, there were several people kneeling, one I could see was directly looking at the Cross. I found it ironic that he was looking with passion at something built by a Pagan.

Yesterday, in my Blog entry, I mentioned when things start, and the questions people ask about when that happens. Sadly, often times this the question is where people do harm.

They bomb womens health clincs or shoot doctors, often claiming they were doing it because 'god commands them to.' I think this is a distortion. This is the human interpertation. It turns it into a struggle for power; who makes the decision on when life starts. There was a line on a Seinfeld show where one of the characters says, "It's not a pizza 'till it comes out of the oven.", and that's very true. Before that, it's just a collection of items.

The Buddhist belief as I understand it, is that we are all stuck on a wheel of living where there is pain and suffering because we keep trying to identify ourselves as seperate. We live, we die, we live, we die, we... well, you get the idea. Until we are able to realize we are no different than anything else. Fully realize that point. That the clouds, the plants, the sun, all are the same as we are, then, we move off this wheel and become part of the universe.

At the exit of the church, there was a basket filled with plastic packets of ashes. Grey, fine dust in clear packages. During the Sermon, we were invited to take with us a packet or two as a reminder of who we are and what we will be. Keep it at your desk or in your home, or spread it someplace where you find it would be helpful to do so, he said.

I took two packets.

You may ask yourself ("Self!" - a little tip of the hat to Emeril.) Why the heck would a Buddhist, Unitarian, ex-Catholic take a packet of dust from a Catholic church?

Like Kansas sang, all we are is Dust in the Wind.

Empty a packet of dust in the wind and where does it go? All around the universe.

Not much different from Buddhist teaching.

Peace